Gotta lotta time out here in the black for lookin' out the window and wonderin about things.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Winding the Year Up
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Fire and Rain
Casino Royale
Monday, December 25, 2006
A Day of Plenty
Saturday, December 23, 2006
btw: body count
Invisible Fields
The Long Paddock
Friday, December 22, 2006
Aunty
Thursday, December 21, 2006
William James
~ William James, "The Will to Believe"
Really Great Views
Jetlag
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
The Eagle Has Landed
Big Moves
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Christmas Carols in the Local Park
Maybe it's just me who associates the mirror ball so closely with disco, nightclubs, rough anonymous sex and recreational drug use. To see it spinning there inside the star (supposedly representing the star shining over their lord and saviour's crib) was truly too outre, even for me.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Happy Birthday Ms Jane
Again.
I would like to say that I have done something terribly literate and symbolic to mark the occassion, but quite fittingly, I attended a small private gathering for dinner and conversation, where almost everyone has known each other a little bit too long and there are no secrets, other than the very obvious. Our own little piece of ivory in Summer Hill.
Rough New Prizes
This skill, to turn a moment of enquiry into hope, is a gift - a true glory.
~ ~
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Listen! I will be honest with you. I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes." Walt Whitman wrote that in his poem "Song of the Open Road," and now I'm saying it to you. If you expect the events of 2007 to bring you old smooth prizes, you'll be disappointed. But if you can figure out how to change your attitude in such a way as to actually yearn for rough new prizes, you will be rewarded beyond anything you can imagine. The first hint of how true this is will arrive soon.
~ ~
Tonight I will drift to sleep asking for the mysteries of the dark to bring me rough new prizes to covert.
Gee, That's a good word
The railway guy smiles at me and I ask "Could you tell me please, how long until the next inbound train?"
"Inbound" he says, "Inbound. Gee, that's a good word."
"That would be the traditional word."
"Yeah.I guess. I just haven't heard it for a long time."
This is the *railway* that I'm talking to, and they don't use *inbound*!?
I chuckled the whole 2 minutes I had to wait....
Farewell Drinks
It's all in my mind.
It's all in my mind. This lightening of circumstances, this feeling of possibility, it's no wonder that as I have shifted into action about this move, so many other things that have been blocked in my life have started to shift too. I am rediscovering who I might be, and who I don't have to be. I am from a rural place, I have pushed against that and fought it, and wanted to be in this city, and strained here against so much. I created the strain that has sent me into the tailspin, and in this process I feel that I am unmaking it.
A glorious life irony has manifested this week. For years here I have been single, seemingly having a powerful *repulser* field around me. I have so many intelligent, funny, caring friends, yet no one with whom I can share that next level of physical and emotional intimacy, sensuality and pleasure. My forays into online dating have been so very disastrous, I can't even write about it. I have been reconciled to being celibate for so long that it's almost become part of my self-identity. So really, it is of no surprise at all that I have met a *special*someone* just 8 days before I am to leave. This man has the magic pheromone, and backs it up with wit and charm. My decision to leave was heavily influenced by the need to make a connection just like this one. Overnight, I have become Schrodinger's cat.
Did we find each other *because* I'm going, and if I don't go will that perforce result in it falling apart? The ticking hangs over us when we're together, and the pounding of our hearts is eloquent only to the chaos of life.
So drinks last night were great fun, and I only cried once, a little bit. I had drinks, which I haven't allowed myself to do since the gaint bender I went on for my birthday. It's good to live, and to love and sometimes to say goodbye and not know how long for.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Electronic Box
Bring on the lust, bring on the dreamers.
(Thanks to Maritiming)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
cleaning up my room, i found an email which an algerian "poet" had sent to
my dad a couple years ago, and which my dad had shown me, maybe to
demonstrate the glamour of the publishing world. here are the best bits.
"Dear Sir...
I only wish that it is not clumsy of my part to send these texts thus in your electronic box without no consultation nor no previous agreement of your person. If it can carry prejudice against you, I humbly pray you to want notify me by mail, I will immediately make everything what is necessary in order to apologize...
...If for a lot of writers today, the writing is the top of the glamour, and to become writer, is the object of lust of so many people. You know that for us, if she is not the reason of our murder, she is one of our persecution.
Only god knows, how much we need your help.
...It is a dream for me, one of the biggests, to participate in this beautiful adventure that you direct, and that is you will recognize it gladly the heritage of all men."
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Arnold Brings us Together
It used to be that in a situation where I didn't know anyone - say
just like the party I was at last night - my reserve converstional
gambit would be Monty Python. Dropping a Cheese Shop line, or putting
on the voice for "He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy" has
revived many a hopeless case, even if it's just long enough to give
everyone a few chuckles, a chance to say their favourite line or move
onto Faulty Towers, and I can move on having completed my role in the
social dance.
I notice that some people prefer The Simpsons, and I agree that this
often works well in general environments, however, I really think it's
just an ice-breaker, not a real arse-saver. This is because The
Simpsons colonises us - it is so self-referential that unles syou've
seen the episode in discussion, or know the characters pretty well,
you won't find it funny. Crash and Burn. You may not believe me, but
there are people who don't watch it, and people who have and
*don't*like*it*.
So what to do?
Increasingly, younger folk have not heard of Monty Python, or if they
have, it's as some kind of entertainment myth. So what to do? One must
develop one's repertoire. Quite unconsciously, in a difficult, stilted
environment with nothing to lose, I tried out some new material last
night, and let me tell you this.
ARNOLD brings us together.
SCHWARZENNEGGER; *that* Arnold.
Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a favourite film (loved or
loathed). Everyone wants to tell you if they would have voted for him
as Governator, or Presidator. Then, the grace note for the
connoiseurs... Pumping Iron. As ARW says, "there's those who've seen
it, and those who need to see it". It came to me as intuition, I pass
it onto you as wisdom. Next time you're at a suburban BBQ, a singles
night or a moribund work function, remember the secret to drawing
people out of their shells could be as simple as ARNOLD.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
"I don't have that much stuff"
This week has been one of those times.
"I'm not stressed, I feel fine."
WRONG
"Everything's progressing no problems."
WRONG
"I'm sure the money that guy owes me will turn up any day now. He *did* promise."
WRONG
"Packing won't be too hard, afterall, I don't have that much stuff."
WRONG WRONG WRONG
Who exactly do I think I'm kidding with this shtick? Fracken nobody baby! I am down to single digit days to clear my private museum and archives into boxes and it is going to take a *miracle*. Well, maybe I wasn't utterly delusional, maybe I was uttering what is now fated to become a self-fulfilling prophesy? As each day ticks over and the deadline looms it becomes easier and easier to tell what is dross, and to cull ruthlessly. Perhaps in the next few days as panic erupts, I will just chuck it all out, and so it will be come true - I really won't have that much stuff.
Cool.
In the meantime, I still feel certain that my life can't go on without the 60 floppies I found in a box unopened since I moved in 3 years ago. I probably kept them for a very good reason when I last shifted, and I don't see why I should go double-guessing that now.
Have you got any boxes you can spare?
Friday, December 01, 2006
Sidewalk Economy
Friday, November 24, 2006
Lick This
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Delivering the Goods
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Leaving it all Behind
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Half Way
Struggling.
Only 10 000 words. Feel creeping sense of failure, and light shame at being so far behind my golden ideal wordcount ... still, having fun, so all else can be forgiven.
Have had *very* bad experience with printer of book. She is a hag. perhaps will blog about it when pain has receeded.
In other news, have decided to move to the country for a while. Cop some 'organic hues', also, whilst free-forming in the park yesterday, managed to develop extended metaphor where cliterous = truffle. Was quite funny. Going to try and work it into the romance book. Still entertaining self...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
It Had to Happen
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
November always seems to bring change
Friday, November 10, 2006
Week One: Reflections
oh, I'm having this *amazing dream* where
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Shame File
Tim Butcher in Jerusalem November 8, 2006
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/11/07/1162661683104.html
Mark Forbes, Herald Correspondent in Jakarta November 8, 2006
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/11/07/1162661684698.html
Bilbo Was Onto Something
Sometimes scary in that sense.
This week I have been caught up in the amazing power of denial that the Australian PM maintains. Apparently, global warming is not really of concern to Australians. We have no interest in ratifying the Kyoto Protocol - especially not while China and India exist. Amazing. Hundreds of thousands of Australians walked in cities and towns all over the country on Saturday to show their concern in person, and it was not mentioned at all in our papers - except to say how great Cate Blanchette looked (picture). The London walk got a mention - literally, as a caption to a picture of someone in a polar bear suit.
Even the Hobbits recognised a Nazgul when it screamed through their town. If only we could set the Witch King onto Howard. I'm starting to think it will come to that. Probably in these days of economically rationalist outsourcing the Nazgul are probably keen for small contracts to supplement their week-on-week cashflow. I'll see if Bilbo has their email address ....
(ps. word count on novel/s still pitiful. Batman is turning out to be the Dark Horse, coming up from behind)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Day Two
However, I rally.
I go now to the shops (out of coffee and dog-food - says everything there is to know about my lifestyle) and from there it is onward and upward. I will simply push on. After class today, the evening stretches with promise. I got a snappy pep-talk from the site too - very cheering to know that there's 70 000 other people in the world who think that this is a fun thing to do with their time.
My Kinda People!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Write a Novel in a Month
Kewl.
I've chickened out enough times before that I'm gung-ho this year. There's some neat technical things that I'm trying to figure out so my blog will show my live word count. There's three of us so far - I'm hoping we'll get a few more signed up in our group. Of course, while I'm sitting reading the FAQ, my writing buddies are already plotting and sketching story arcs. Curse them!Curse their cornucopia of ideas and their willingness to stay up later than me!
Don't worry, I'm playing a long game on this one. I've got the stamina, I've got the staying power, I've got a commercial supply of coffee!!
BWAHAHAHAHAAAA
Jeeze - this is going to be more fun than Talk Like A Pirate Day!
The clock starts at one minute past midnight.
Gentlemen, sharpen your pencils...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Some Days are Diamonds
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A Trade to Fall Back on
Writing writing writing, the words flow on and form their own alliances and sometimes coalesce into jewels, even strings of gems and ropes of treasures. Oh yes, these moments are the the glory of living! But I am in here, the classroom, the buzzing of tired brains slowly filling up with gobbling jargon as a hedge against the winter. I am stuffing nuts into my mental cheeks, collecting knowledge and skills that I can sell later if need be in case those gems aren't fetching their value on the open market.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Life Lesson: Never Spend the Mystery Money
Friday, October 13, 2006
Unputdownable: Cliches & Made-up Madness
*sigh*
no really, this week I was lucky enough to go to one of the big publishing houses' annual Christmas preview. There's not really a lot of publishers in Australia and less and less of them are financially capable of throwing a bit of a booze around in a nice hotel so that booksellers and their crews know more about their books. In the logic of the market, it always seems to work out that the people with the blandest (sorry! "Most Popular") books have the most money - and consequently, one really doesn't need more information on those titles, but they're the ones who throw the parties.
John Grisham is publishing a new legal drama - well, who would have thought!? I wonder who'll buy that?
Someone's written a great book? Let's give it a cover image of some steps in Greece - that'll keep it in the not-too-hard basket!
Got a crime novel about a murder? Obviously it's a "quiet and picturesque place before the horror descends".
Sitting there, in the dimly lit room, watching the wanky powerpoint display, it struck me that this is what passes for the heart of publishing - and therefore for a big chunk of that most noble art - literature - yet what is being showcased other than the house red? Why it is "Marketeer". A strain of English that dulls and numbs as it chews up the words of glory in our language and once done, turns to the German style of kludging words together to get what they want. How many times does it take, being bludgeoned with another poster, blurb or presentation claiming something is "unputdownable", before we all just give in and accept that it will be in the next edition of the Macquarie and it's our generation who put it there?
I'd really rather hoped we might sort global warming.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Some gentle words from Osho
"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you'll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You'll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival."
~ Osho
West Side of the Room
Each week as I make another mistake I learn one more of the labyrinthine kinks in this place's filing system. "No no no, only P/L files are red!" and so we go...
Isn't that just how life works - we all want to be the one to see the big picture and to really *get it* and so often, the difference between having a good day and a bad day can be how one 2 minute phone call goes or the milk being off in your first coffee. We're more vulnerable than we like to imagine. On the other hand, it's also easier to spread a little bit of light than you might think. Just as things seemed relentless in their dullness, the Cardigan Man gave me a slice of mudcake.
Now that's awesome.