What is it that is different about this year?
I busted a gut last year and basically washed out.
It is half way through the month and I'm on 25 673 words - essentially right where I should be to have a chance of getting across the line. That is to say - tracking just fine, and so far I've missed only about 4 days writing due to work/travel/homicidal tendencies. And without wanting to jinx anything or sound like a wanger, it has been not too bad, writing-effort-wise. Not too many anxious blockages, that kind of thing. Actually, it has been pretty darn good. Fun.
This is why people get superstitious - because when things suck it is easy to figure out how I choked or sabotaged myself, but when things go well, I look for external reasons. "Oh, I found a white feather - there must be an angel watching over me" (thanks Angel, pls leave cash next time!) or "I was wearing my lucky striped undies when I had the idea / wrote the first page/ decided to make that character into a guy so people wouldn't think it was me," or "I turned my computer on and then I made the coffee - it must work better in that order." Whatever. Something outside of me is responsible for the good stuff.
How freakin insidious is that?!
Who designed these brains anyway? What kind of genetic or evolutionary advantage can there possibly be to building in a tendency to neuroses?!?
I don't think I'm alone in having that kind of experience. I just wish I could swap the polarities for a while. Have a little rest from being infinitesimally small and insignificant and soak up some center-of-the-universe juice for a bit. Ah well. I'm not hung up on it, not while the writing is coming ok. Of course at some point I'll have to take off the lucky striped undies, and then if things start going badly, well there will be tears until they're out of the wash, I can tell you that for nothing.
Also, please send chocolate, I'm out.
3 comments:
Ha ha! I had an excellent conversation with Phil on Saturday evening in regards similar success and failure. I was relating some of our recent 'phone chat, and the various complications inside my head of late and commenting that "You know, things really do seem to have changed in the last couple of years. I'm playing the drums, writing and generally having a pretty good time. Something must have changed. I wonder what it could be."
Phil laughed and said "Well, this is isn't an accident, you know. This happiness thing *is* something you've been working at for some time now."
I laughed hilariously at my own complete inability to see this, and admitted I was quite retarded. :)
Genius. Kudos to Phil! Glad to be a happy retard!
BTW, how inspiring are bar charts!?
good....................................................................................................
Post a Comment