How horrible to be so strung out that when someone cut-in on the bowser queue this morning I honked and was angry - with the chopping hand gestures and everything.
Turns out that they could see that the next one up was disabled, but they needed the diesel/premium bit. I was worried Audrey would conk out in line from being on the red the whole way in. Why is it that when I'm stressed about work, I rush to get there? And rush in that mindless anxious way. Well it's no good for me and it's no good for the people around me. Sorry smug couple in the expensive new car, I am uncool and I apologise. It would have been much better if I could have recovered myself quickly enough to apologise at the time, but that's life huh?
So, Bowser Rage. We didn't conk out, I still got to work early, I've dealt with the fiddly tasks and general sense of unease that I had and now am tallying up the karmic damage. I initially considered opening with Jayne's beautiful line "She's damaging my calm" but sadly I couldn't honestly say I had any calm this morning. I can't blame the drugs (coming off the 'roids man!) and I can't blame my pent-up frustrations at still living in a box out of a suitcase and being tired and empty. This day is the very life of life. I must face this and face it down.
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