It has been a tough week. One where I can't sleep properly at night and nothing seems to go right at work and if I don't scream in the car on the way home then I shout at Riley when I open the door. Not good. Blah blah blah, right?! We've all been there.
Somewhere I haven't been, thank the deities, is shivering under a piece of tarp while some well-fed guy in chinos talks to a black box about how my village/town/city just got totally erased off the face of the planet by a wave, a quake, a fire, a mudslide, a flood or a typhoon. I haven't been sitting there in shock with every single thing I used to use in my day to day life needing to be replaced from stocks that just don't exist, there's no clean water, or food, and I'd rather think about any of that than the death I saw and only just missed out on myself.
Turning on the news this week has really put my petty concerns into perspective. Which is to say, they are trivial. It is something about Australia that I have taken for granted my whole life - we live inside the boundaries of a tectonic plate. While we drift NNE and enjoy our generally placid lives, the edges of this plate scrape and gouge their way along our neighbours' and sometimes this is the result - quakes that lead to tsunamis. Just to make you feel inadequate it can all happen during typhoon season to give that added tropical sense of Armageddon by puring pelting rain that stings as it slaps you.
No matter what problems I have this week, I'm grateful to be in the position of being able to help some people who have got a much rougher end of a much larger pineapple this week.
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Friday, October 09, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
The Intentions of 2009
I will write every day.
I will use my work email Inbox as an inbox only and not as an undifferentiated filing cabinet (currently 4058 items dating back to May 2007).
I will be more cheerful (or at least less actively depressed) by doing fun things more often. Given the poor performance in this area in 08, this year's efforts have been buoyed by pre-purchasing comedy tickets for March and April - Ah HA!! I've recruited Tim Minchin and Bernard Black to fight on my behalf. Take that evil depression empire!!
I will keep a daily gratitude journal to remind me of all the wonderful glorious bountiful things in my life (rather than dwelling on things like, say, being attacked by two stray dogs this morning and screaming my throat out for help and not so much as a curtain twitching. Fuck you too Leichhardt). Big Breath ... calm thoughts ... happy thoughts....
I will read 50% non-fiction this year. Last year was the year of "I'll just read for fun", and so there were a lot of comics, a lot of vampire/werewolf romance, indiscriminate magazines and random weird trash. Fun in a way, but like any diet filled with junk food, I began to feel a bit bloated and unwell. Too much is too much. Plus, in relation to the cheerful/fun thing, turns out that pop science makes me feel happy. Something to do with stimulating the knowitall gland and excretions of smartarse enzymes.
I will do yoga twice a week all year. When I do it, I am calmer, have better posture, worry less and feel stronger facing daily crud. What's not to like?!
I will do some housework. Not a lot. Not all the time. Just some, ok?! Enough that the cat stops reporting me to the RSPCA (ungrateful little traitor).
There should be some more shouldn't there? There should be stuff about eating healthy foods, meeting all my work deadlines, shedding x kilos and being kind to old people who smell like mothballs. After all there's not even 10 things on my list...
Who am I trying to kid? That's plenty to be going on with. I can barely keep 5 things in my mind at once, seven is a stretch and 10 is just asking to lose at least 3 right away, feel bad and stumble on the other 5 until I collapse by mid feb and give it all up as a bad job and spend the rest of the year moaning about how "let's hope 2010 is a better year". No Thanks. Jeeze, it's already taken me a week to decide on them, and in this week, I've already mangled 5 of them. I'll do better next week - I promise.
I will use my work email Inbox as an inbox only and not as an undifferentiated filing cabinet (currently 4058 items dating back to May 2007).
I will be more cheerful (or at least less actively depressed) by doing fun things more often. Given the poor performance in this area in 08, this year's efforts have been buoyed by pre-purchasing comedy tickets for March and April - Ah HA!! I've recruited Tim Minchin and Bernard Black to fight on my behalf. Take that evil depression empire!!
I will keep a daily gratitude journal to remind me of all the wonderful glorious bountiful things in my life (rather than dwelling on things like, say, being attacked by two stray dogs this morning and screaming my throat out for help and not so much as a curtain twitching. Fuck you too Leichhardt). Big Breath ... calm thoughts ... happy thoughts....
I will read 50% non-fiction this year. Last year was the year of "I'll just read for fun", and so there were a lot of comics, a lot of vampire/werewolf romance, indiscriminate magazines and random weird trash. Fun in a way, but like any diet filled with junk food, I began to feel a bit bloated and unwell. Too much is too much. Plus, in relation to the cheerful/fun thing, turns out that pop science makes me feel happy. Something to do with stimulating the knowitall gland and excretions of smartarse enzymes.
I will do yoga twice a week all year. When I do it, I am calmer, have better posture, worry less and feel stronger facing daily crud. What's not to like?!
I will do some housework. Not a lot. Not all the time. Just some, ok?! Enough that the cat stops reporting me to the RSPCA (ungrateful little traitor).
There should be some more shouldn't there? There should be stuff about eating healthy foods, meeting all my work deadlines, shedding x kilos and being kind to old people who smell like mothballs. After all there's not even 10 things on my list...
Who am I trying to kid? That's plenty to be going on with. I can barely keep 5 things in my mind at once, seven is a stretch and 10 is just asking to lose at least 3 right away, feel bad and stumble on the other 5 until I collapse by mid feb and give it all up as a bad job and spend the rest of the year moaning about how "let's hope 2010 is a better year". No Thanks. Jeeze, it's already taken me a week to decide on them, and in this week, I've already mangled 5 of them. I'll do better next week - I promise.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
An Attitude of Gratitude
Three really brilliant things happened this week. Other people inadvertantly pulled me out of a black funk and pointed my face back toward the sun, reminding me of what I so often try and remind others (and so easily forget myself).
You're not alone - we're all in this together.
Generosity
I re-wrote a cover letter for a woman in the office this week, She is one of the few sane and good-value people in the Sheltered Workshop, and so odds are good that she's a Temp. She's a talented artist with an intelligent sense of humour. Same goes for her husband and their child. She is a Temp as it turns out, and had also worked for a while in my last office (The Fortress of Solitude) so I was happy to offer my services in helping her apply for a plum job that came up in the library (which we're hoping is a normal, sane, pleasant workplace). She had done that thing people often do which is write two pages of dense, detailed explanation of how this and that skill would work in this and that aspect of the job, but then felt a bit bogged in detail and hadn't framed it well.
As Mrs Hill told me in grade 8, "you have to leave flags for readers so they know where they're going". I disagreed with her then (what a shit of a kid I must have been), but I've learnt my error doing hard yards. Mrs Hill was talking about the kind of writing that cover letters need, leading the reader along a broad and comfortable path to the idea that they need to glance at this resume and shortlist this person for interview ASAP. Anyway, it was a fun quick job and I really like having this person around, so it was fundamentally motivated by selfish desires. Which was why I was blown away when the next day she bought in 3 folios of her husbands drawings and offered me to take my pick "Heck, take two or three if you want". What a wonderful gift! I chose just one - an utter mindfuck abstract figure - and experienced a massive jolt of the warm and fuzzies. She didn't need to do that, I was happy just to contribute to her success. I didn't want anything in return. Writing can earn you artworks! How good can life get?!
Inclusion
Well life can also include unexpected text messages inviting you to come along to a comedy gig with the patron saint of booksellers, Bernard Black. Of course one says yes to that kind of thing and life immediately gets even better. There's anticipation for the event itself, but also a strengthening in the sense of inclusion in the clan that the invite and the event brings. I miss my clutches of friends and these excursions they arrange out of spontaneous book exuberance. So it was with palpable gratitude that I accepted this invite and began the countdown. Oh, and decided to sign-up for a writing challenge in April 09 too. Just for the helluvit. Yes! What could be better?!
Thoughtfulness
I'm not really into Christmas (at least not the part of it that's about the virgin birth of a divine Jesus; the mystery & pagan stuff I really dig. The trees inside the house, especially), but the society I have infiltrated and live among is into it (in a fairly strange way that I may never understand). I try to join-in with their cultural activities in order to get along. I do as little as possible or as much as I can bear in order to remain under cover. Sometimes these two measures do not meet, and Christmas is generally one of those times. I maintain low expectations, so it was a relief to experience little pain during the TCSW Christmas Breakfast (7.30am!! AM!!) and Secret Santa. The Office Martyr did an extraordinary catering job on just $5 a head (including proper food for Veggos) it was all going along fine and really, quite ok. Then I opened my gift. I was ready to exclaim my thanks to my anonymous gifter no matter what lie inside the paper. When a silk and pashmina paisley shawl in black and forest green came out I was stunned.
This gift was an act of thoughtfulness and love. It was a beautiful object and felt like a waterfall of light in my hands. My cubicle is very cold and I am constantly wrapped in woolly shawls to keep any feeling in my lower arms and hands. In this one gift, someone had expressed a care for my tastes and a knowledge of my day to day experience. I was (and am) really touched by this beautiful gift.
Attitude of Gratitude
Far too often, life seems to suck. Days seem bleak and nights are grim exercises in endurance. Then beauty, love and friendship nose their way back into your life like a dog under the covers in bed on a cold night. Snuggle up close whenever you can and take relief in an attitude of gratitude for whomever and whatever makes your heart's winter melt and mind's sun smile. If life is lived in fragments every sliver is precious.
Happy Solstice for tomorrow, and remember; you're not alone, we're all in this together.
You're not alone - we're all in this together.
Generosity
I re-wrote a cover letter for a woman in the office this week, She is one of the few sane and good-value people in the Sheltered Workshop, and so odds are good that she's a Temp. She's a talented artist with an intelligent sense of humour. Same goes for her husband and their child. She is a Temp as it turns out, and had also worked for a while in my last office (The Fortress of Solitude) so I was happy to offer my services in helping her apply for a plum job that came up in the library (which we're hoping is a normal, sane, pleasant workplace). She had done that thing people often do which is write two pages of dense, detailed explanation of how this and that skill would work in this and that aspect of the job, but then felt a bit bogged in detail and hadn't framed it well.
As Mrs Hill told me in grade 8, "you have to leave flags for readers so they know where they're going". I disagreed with her then (what a shit of a kid I must have been), but I've learnt my error doing hard yards. Mrs Hill was talking about the kind of writing that cover letters need, leading the reader along a broad and comfortable path to the idea that they need to glance at this resume and shortlist this person for interview ASAP. Anyway, it was a fun quick job and I really like having this person around, so it was fundamentally motivated by selfish desires. Which was why I was blown away when the next day she bought in 3 folios of her husbands drawings and offered me to take my pick "Heck, take two or three if you want". What a wonderful gift! I chose just one - an utter mindfuck abstract figure - and experienced a massive jolt of the warm and fuzzies. She didn't need to do that, I was happy just to contribute to her success. I didn't want anything in return. Writing can earn you artworks! How good can life get?!
Inclusion
Well life can also include unexpected text messages inviting you to come along to a comedy gig with the patron saint of booksellers, Bernard Black. Of course one says yes to that kind of thing and life immediately gets even better. There's anticipation for the event itself, but also a strengthening in the sense of inclusion in the clan that the invite and the event brings. I miss my clutches of friends and these excursions they arrange out of spontaneous book exuberance. So it was with palpable gratitude that I accepted this invite and began the countdown. Oh, and decided to sign-up for a writing challenge in April 09 too. Just for the helluvit. Yes! What could be better?!
Thoughtfulness
I'm not really into Christmas (at least not the part of it that's about the virgin birth of a divine Jesus; the mystery & pagan stuff I really dig. The trees inside the house, especially), but the society I have infiltrated and live among is into it (in a fairly strange way that I may never understand). I try to join-in with their cultural activities in order to get along. I do as little as possible or as much as I can bear in order to remain under cover. Sometimes these two measures do not meet, and Christmas is generally one of those times. I maintain low expectations, so it was a relief to experience little pain during the TCSW Christmas Breakfast (7.30am!! AM!!) and Secret Santa. The Office Martyr did an extraordinary catering job on just $5 a head (including proper food for Veggos) it was all going along fine and really, quite ok. Then I opened my gift. I was ready to exclaim my thanks to my anonymous gifter no matter what lie inside the paper. When a silk and pashmina paisley shawl in black and forest green came out I was stunned.
This gift was an act of thoughtfulness and love. It was a beautiful object and felt like a waterfall of light in my hands. My cubicle is very cold and I am constantly wrapped in woolly shawls to keep any feeling in my lower arms and hands. In this one gift, someone had expressed a care for my tastes and a knowledge of my day to day experience. I was (and am) really touched by this beautiful gift.
Attitude of Gratitude
Far too often, life seems to suck. Days seem bleak and nights are grim exercises in endurance. Then beauty, love and friendship nose their way back into your life like a dog under the covers in bed on a cold night. Snuggle up close whenever you can and take relief in an attitude of gratitude for whomever and whatever makes your heart's winter melt and mind's sun smile. If life is lived in fragments every sliver is precious.
Happy Solstice for tomorrow, and remember; you're not alone, we're all in this together.
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