Happy Birfy Ma!

Ma is 60 today!
Yay for her.
She's off to the shops to spend her vouchers (and the ones she hoarded since chrissy) today and as she's had this week off work is in quite a gleeful mood.
Dinner tonight with some of the sisters and nieces to celebrate. I'm making pavlova - baked the meranguie bit last night (used a mix) and tonight it's just adding the cream, cherries, kiwifruit and bananas.
Yummo.

Craptacular!

Well the last two days were a crap blitzkrieg at work, but funnily enough with the GBS now having come under the spell of the roids, some new rockin' tracks on the pod thing, a good sleep and a satisfying dvd experience - it just doesn't seem as bad.

Plus, we got a shower of rain!! OMG - it went for about 10 minutes and then there was another short one later!! Wow, great news. Really. I think officially it came to just over 1mm in the measuring thingo. Mum is gloating about her 'waters' being on the money. Dad's been calling her Uri Geller - it's almost funny.

In other news, I inspected a house yesterday with an 'eye to buy' as they say here and it was a real money pit. An absolute stinker. Apparently the owner is "very negotiable" on price, yet has a full-price sticker on it... got a very Sydney feel to the market here at the moment, but all this brouhaha with sub-prime doodads ought to calm it all down to slightly more reasonable values. I'll be looking at another one on Friday. This one has no yard, but is well within my affordable range. It's a town house, two beds one LUG. Hmmm.... decisions decisions.....

Well, the sun is out, it's morning tea o'clock and I love youse all.

Bowser Rage

How horrible to be so strung out that when someone cut-in on the bowser queue this morning I honked and was angry - with the chopping hand gestures and everything.
Turns out that they could see that the next one up was disabled, but they needed the diesel/premium bit. I was worried Audrey would conk out in line from being on the red the whole way in. Why is it that when I'm stressed about work, I rush to get there? And rush in that mindless anxious way. Well it's no good for me and it's no good for the people around me. Sorry smug couple in the expensive new car, I am uncool and I apologise. It would have been much better if I could have recovered myself quickly enough to apologise at the time, but that's life huh?
So, Bowser Rage. We didn't conk out, I still got to work early, I've dealt with the fiddly tasks and general sense of unease that I had and now am tallying up the karmic damage. I initially considered opening with Jayne's beautiful line "She's damaging my calm" but sadly I couldn't honestly say I had any calm this morning. I can't blame the drugs (coming off the 'roids man!) and I can't blame my pent-up frustrations at still living in a box out of a suitcase and being tired and empty. This day is the very life of life. I must face this and face it down.

More Eating Stories

Fresh Cauliflowers actually taste good.
Wow - I'd forgotten all about caulies - having so often gotten those slightly rubbery, almost woody tasting things from woolies. I'd kinda given up on them.
Peter bought round two he'd just picked from his garden late yesterday arvo. The leaves hadn't even wilted. They were beautiful. He handed them to me and I could smell the delicate, light scent of fresh cauliflower. Yum yum yum. I was just planning dinner and it didn't take much to swerve from mashed spuds (oh god not again) to steamed caulies in a white sauce. I made a pot of it to go with the tomatoe and lentil bake. Tonight I'll make a pie with them and some corn and carraway seeds.
I can't wait to plant tomatoes for summer. Freshly grown food really does taste so very good, and it is inspiring to have it sitting on the bench and filling the kitchen with smell ideas, rather than bundled in plastic in the fridge/morgue going slowly creepy.

Massive Oversight

can you believe that we don't have a recipe for RUM BALLS in this house?
Mum pulled out *every*single*one* of her books last night.
"I've found loads of pavlova recipes." she says. Guess what she wants made for her birthday? Great. Still no Rum Balls idea. Thankfully, the internet has been invented....

So, doing some research this morning, Gourmet Traveller failed me, (more often than not actually, but when they do come through it's good, very good) but this is good anyway because it means I have discovered this little gem of a website:

http://www.exclusivelyfood.com.au/2006/10/rum-balls-recipe.html

What a ripper! Really good quality clear instructions and photos. I'm not sure I'm going to put pineapple in my carrot cake anytime soon( http://www.exclusivelyfood.com.au/2006/07/carrot-cake-recipe.html ) (no matter how long I am in Queensland) but this website will be helping me get some more classics under my apron tie!

Yay!

Through the love of Mez and back issues of BUST magazine, I've met the very enjoyable Amy Bugbee (met in an internet way - I've read her blog/s and laughed at her antics. She wouldn't know me from turtle poo), and she is the woman behind "Hellraiser Homemaker" go and meet her yourself - she and her husband rock!

Happy Birfy Dad

Dad's birthday today and he got a cup of tea in bed and loads of goodies. Last night i asked him what kind of cake he wanted, and he said "vanilla sponge with chocolate icing" so that's what I made for him, using my new heart-shaped pan (mucks around your cooking time - bakers beware!). He got to sit in his chair and watch stupid tv while I bought him the beaters to lick, then the bowl, then I found an icing recipe that concluded with "eat directly from bowl" so that's gotta taste good, and it did. He's all set for a great day.

The weekend included a large donation of kitchen goods and homewares from Wazza whose mum sold her house so she could go into a home. I got some very lovely baking pans (that's where the love-heart shaped cake tin came from) a big oval casserole dish (must be about 3 - 5 L) and a 4 piece china dinner set. It was very kind of them to think of others at that point.

The new season of calves have started hitting the ground, which is fun, but quite sadly we decided to send all of last year's calves (the weaners) off to market because with no rain even the dead grass is now gone and there's just nothing for them to eat. The new calves are very sweet and adorable. There's something fundamentally gratifying and spring-like about seeing tiny mammals cavorting and learning about the world. Plus, this is the only time you can pick up a cow. Mum and I had to do that on the weekend when one of the new ones got separated from her mum and ran out of puff and just collapsed. Her mum had wandered off, and so we had to pick up the little one and carry her (well I couldn't hold her so I ran and got the wheelbarrow!) and take her to her mum. There was a tense moment when we waited to see if she smelt too much like humans to be recognised again by mama cow - but she licked the icky smell off her and got her sucking again, and all was well. Yay.

Three Magpies on a Branch

They warbled me awake and the dawn was golden on the gum's pale branches. I like the mornings here when the breeze sighs through the leaves and a birdcall can sit on the air.

August opened with the first calf of the season. A tiny little thing seen from the bathroom window, cavorting around in the fog on wednesday morning. Ma and I stood and watched - a lovely moment. Of course being the beginning of August meant that July was done, and we could look back and say "not a single drop of rain fell on our property during the month of July". We wouldn't say it, not out loud anyway. We all know it. We live and live and live with it. So apart from the newly painted house, we're a thousand shades of brown now. Even the brown is looking browner, drier, paler. Deader.
Mum is acting pretty confident that it's going to rain next week, but I think she's either full of shit, or hopeful to the point of being criminally insane. I mean I hope she's right, but I left off how her reason for this rock-solid belief was that she could "feel it in her waters." We don't have any waters. That's the point. You've got no water to feel it in woman!! Had she said "I can feel it in me whisky bladder" I would have put money on it.

Other great news (it's all about me) is that it looks like I'll be able to work towards a film program here next year. I know that's vague, but trust me - that's nearly 6 weeks of pained discussions to get to the position where we've agreed what it is NOT to be, when it is not to be, and that we will discuss at a later time what it should be a lot more like, and who we want to come. This is a solid win! I also took away from this meeting the implicit understanding that this could get to within a chook's tooth of happening and get cancelled/completely co-opted. That also is just how things are here. Despite sounding like a horrible meeting, in a sad, Ipswichian way, i believe it is all actually a desire to protect me from innocently harming myself, and really a sign of trust and expectation in me and my abilities.
Or a setup. We'll see.

Pope Calls on Potter Fans

Recent permission for Catholics to revert to holding their mass in Latin has revealed a minor snag - very few priests can read or remember how to recite the Latin mass. Pope Benedict considers turning to the worldwide legions of Harry Potter fans "At least those kids can get their mouths around it. This is our chance to show them that Catholicism can be cool too - after all, we had Latin first!"
The Vatican has remained silent on possible podcast options or movie tie-ins.

Crack in the Ranks

How does it happen that one day all your underpants have suddenly voted and split themselves clearly into two camps? They're now irrefutably droppers or clutchers and no comfortable middle-ground can be met. Clearly this is why one should never ever catch up all the laundry - they need a quorum to hold the vote. I've tried negotiation, I've tried work to rule, I've tried bargaining, but there's nothing for it. This is a vital service, I'm going to use emergency executive powers and replace the lot with scabs.

Tidy Up

Well hey there compadres!
There's loads of little things to tell you all about. First of all, thank you to everyone who's sent me a message of any kind in support of pulling through the last few weeks. The GBS is now battling the prednisolone/salofalk and I think loosing. The side effects (mostly I get very restless and only slightly cranky - so hard for other people to tell there's any difference really) of the drugs have been more manageable this time as the dose wasn't as high and got stepped-back more quickly. The new doctor seems thoughtful and intelligent and I'll be seeing a new specialist soon. I like the idea that I am assembling a "crack" (sorry about any arse puns that make their way into this post) team of brave and compassionate souls all fighting for a better world. Yes, I have been reading too much Harry Potter.

That reminds me. HOW GOOD IS BOOK SEVEN?!?!!! No Spoilers here - don't be concerned. I really enjoyed it, and yes I know there's many points of discussion about what a better book/series might be... but I am living with the experience I am having, not the one I think I ought to have - and that has to go for books, comics, movies and transport options too. We'll talk later, I'm sure.

Major Family Moment on the weekend. After months of planning and preparation (mostly by my very able and forthright sisters) Ma & Pa's poor white trash shack of house has been transformed into a sunflower bright butterfly house. OMG. Isn't it amazing what eleven people, hundreds of dollars of paint and about 16 litres of tea can achieve?! The shock-troops arrived on saturday morning around 9am (yes, I was just getting up and had jammies and gritty eyes) and had a full first coat of paint on the place by lunch. Huge. I offered (wisely I thought at the time) to stay out of the way (my uncle and cousins are professional house painters) and to do the catering. What an undertaking. Imagine the logistics of serving and provisioning eleven hungry folk for morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, morning tea and lunch. I will never be intimidated by Christmas again! Many thanks to Sis2 for sporadic assistance, a warm haven for the night and a restful breakfast before re-entering the fray. Ma is delighted with the outcome and we're all pleased it's over. In a happy way.

The portugese tarts were ok. The pastry was a wreck (i measured a key ingredient incorrectly and turned it from flaky pastry to shortbread - no one seemed to mind) but the custard totally made up for it. This is the *best*ever* custard and well worth the time it takes to assemble. I will be trying the custard in a vanilla slice-type environment to see how I go with store pastry (as we have a huge bag of passionfruit to use).

Today I have sent away an application for a regional writers scholarship through the Queensland Arts Council. If I get it, it means 3 weeks at a writing retreat in Varuna. I have applied once before for a mentorship there - it's a brilliant setup in the Blue Mountains. I don't want to get too excited, I don't even know how long it takes for them to decide and everything, or how many people apply for this. But just putting together the material for the application was actually a brilliant process and very worthwhile. It helped me to get back on track for my writing goals for the rest of the year. Light a stick of incense for me - I'll keep you informed.

Finally, it seems to have taken years, but Beowulf, Stardust and His Dark Materials: Golden Compass are all about to hit the big screens. What a glut! YAHOO!!!!

Just make sure you go read the books first. Really.

(Yes, the Hearney translation of Beowulf - through Faber, oh, I think Penguin bought out Faber... just go to the library ok!).



Really finally... Crazy Clark's has closed down across the road from my office window. Out of no-where friday was their last day. What a trash and desolate place the Ipswich "CBD" is now with more vacant shops than filled ones. This is the natural predatory order of things in the capitalist jungle. Perhaps this culling will allow some sunlight in and some new things to take root. I live in hope.

Sloppy

One of my (few) male coworkers in the "Shiny Ice-Cold Sex" department (ie: marketing) had a very funny reaction to a simple word the other day. It was amazing to watch, so obviously, I had to say it a few times to check that it wasn't a fluke.
What word you may wonder.

Was it something far too bland to ever be mentioned in our cool department (cardigan)? Was it something harsh and discordant (strip mining)? Was it something just too long and slightly high-brow (democracy)?
No, it was none of these things. It was just sloppy.

He nearly gagged. He twisted in his chair, looked away, and I bet his toes were curdling in his classy shoes. Hi-larious.
He even said "Could we use another word?"
Where is Jayne with a pithy, hard-arsed comeback when you really need him?

'It's just sloppy protocols', I said and yup, there he goes. Dancing like a meat puppet to my tune. BWAHAHAHAHA.
I reckon he got teased for being a bad kisser, or has a terminal castrating fear of vaginas. Will keep you posted as the opportunities present themselves to test these theories (from a purely theoretical standpoint on this one).

Life Enlivened by The Onion

This made me laugh today, so I thought I would share it with you:

Earthquake Sets Japan Back To 2147
July 23, 2007 Issue 43•30

TOKYO—Japanese government officials confirmed Monday that the damage wrought on Japan's national infrastructure by the July 16th earthquake—particularly on the country's protective force field, quantum teleportation system, zero-point fusion energy broadcasting grid, and psychodynamic communications network—was severe enough to set the technologically advanced island nation back approximately 300 years to a primitive mid-22nd-century state of existence.
"Japan finds itself in crisis, with our society and culture temporarily reverting to a pre-cyberunification era," said Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, communicating non-telekinetically for the first time in his nearly 150 years of post-cryogenic life. "Though many citizens have been limited to algorithm-based emotion detection, neutron baths, speed limits below the speed of light, and other barbaric inconveniences for over a week now, I promise we will pull through." {more}

Hehehehehe. Those crazy guys!

Thanatos

Work is looking into doing a thing on skulls.
There are a lot more skulls in art than you may initially think of. Damian Hirst has the most famous one at the moment where he's made on (or encrusted on - I'm not sure ) with about 10 thousand diamonds. It's been on display at White Cube in London - but I think that show is finished now. There was berserk security - you'd be escorted two people at a time into the darkened room for a maximum of 2 - 5 minutes. Good marketing if you ask me. I heard a rumour that George Michael was thinking of buying it. I just checked. It's 8500 diamonds, and the skull is cast in platinum and *then* encrusted.
I digress.

Out of interest and excitement, I started reading a bit more about the representational aspects of skulls, and came across a chap I'd never heard of - Thanatos. A "minor" figure in Greek Mythology (he's just death after all) or, once again I've checked , and he was probably minor in the Greek pantheon due to being in charge of "peaceful death" unlike Keres who took on violent death and so therefore is obviously much cooler. Freud apparently went on later to use his name to refer to a "death drive" (early emo?) .

I'm not sure yet what there is to do with this new knowledge of this old character. He has been utilised by many a band and a couple of death cult types (despite Keres). There's just something about this name and idea that sound rich. I've had it on a postie note for a few weeks now, and that's normally the test - after a few days it'll come down from the monitor and go in the bin ... but there he is. I think he's waiting for the right cross pollination to bang into him.

The Final Installment

It would be remiss to let this weekend pass and not say: "HARRY POTTER".

A new film and the last book.
I enjoy the books, I've saved up reading #6 so that I can read the last two in a row. Getting to the end of #5 and knowing that it could be *years* before I found out what happened next was the kind of annoyance I could not choose to put myself through again. Plus there's the pleasure that latecomers have - when a series is complete and one can be totally immersed in it. Yum yum yum.

I went yesterday to see the film with Sis2 who had taken her chillen and so had missed large chunks of it. We had a very good time, and dark Malteasers.

Today I am trying a new recipe - Portuguese Custard Tarts. I've never even tried making pastry of this calibre before, so I am feeling a bit intimidated, but as I have a captive, appreciative audience who hasn't eaten them in Little Portugal, I am hopeful of a positive experience.

Meet me Half Way

George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never heard from God or hit the jackpot. Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night.
"George, is that you who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully,
"George, I'll tell you what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"

Sleepwalking

ooooh Shiver me timbers!
It's been cold enough to freeze the balls from a brass monkey.

We are so very far from water here that I remain enamoured of the faux nautical/piratical terminology in everyday use for reasons of high irony and shall continue to use them no matter how out of step I remain/become.

I digress.

It has been jolly cold - with many a morning spiking down below zero, and a week of weather in the more-than-5-degrees-below-normal type range, and yet dry dry dry. This makes sleeping fully enclosed within the doona-cocoon the best option. I am thinking of finding my snorkel, or perhaps modifying one of Pa's safety masks to bring in the trickle of fresh air that I need, which the dog seems to do fine without.
Today has been the first day all week, that I don't feel that I'm sleepwalking through the day, waiting to thaw before my brain can wake. I am putting this down to having a double breakfast and a 4 minute Scorching Shower before setting off in Audrey for work. And now another coffee.

Being sick at the moment with the Great Bowel Serpent (GBS)... saying ulcerative colitis all the time just sounds like I'm some pathetic Harry Potter wannabe with a spell that doesn't work... coffee isn't really the right thing to be turning to.
On the other hand, I'm looking at it more like Thunderdome - you want to send another combatant in or it's just no fun at all! Oh hahahahahaa. How I do entertain myself!

International Moment

BTW
How good is the exchange rate at the moment?!?!!

No longer do I have to double the price of something to see if I can afford the postage! A $32 shirt cost $36. OMG.

I don't believe in commercialism, consumption, this wastage of our natural resources on petty entertainments.
That's the official line - but I'm a woman - I have needs, okay?!
At the moment, I *need* Macbeth as directed by Polanski. I just do.
I *need* to go on the Christmas Browncoat cruise and I don't know why.

Let's not go into this, but nearly 90 cents to the dollar, c'mon!

Hey... that gets me thinking. China. Big country, right? America - big debt - largely to China as far as I can make out (this is hazy, they don't seem to like to admit where all this money is owed). How long do you reckon until the global economy really starts to tilt away from America? Loads of little countries (think those teeny ones in Africa) just go to China for aid now. China gives it too - for a cut. Of land, or jobs. Mercenary. Effective.
Maybe the next Roman empire will manifest in my lifetime, and it will be Chinese.

So very many people have been there before me on this one, it's only a surprise that I bothered.

Last question - Cantonese or Mandarin lessons?

The Germans!

I meant to salute the Germans before they left, but life was intense for a handful of days and wrapped me up.
Iris and Matthias bought their incandescence to our humble farm house for the weekend. It was a glory to share some time with them, and be able to provide a range of roos and wallabies for their first stay on a farm. They recorded the sound of our farm for use later in their art, and somehow, somewhere very deeply, this has pleased me immensely. Oh yeah, and they intrigued my parents and were very good company and basically it was a great time. I learnt a new description for ruma and coke - Cuba Libre - cuba free - an allusion to rum/cuba and America/coke. oh hilarity hilarity. Of course it's even cooler when you say it with a German accent "cooba Leeba" . We played pool in the pool room, and even that seemed pretty hilarious at the time. I taught Iris how to make scones. Much fun was had by all.

Really, after all my moaning and fretting when Lee & Andy came out worrying about would it be ok?, would they find it?, was it all an elaborate hoax to trick me? - I must now admit that this has been a fantastic run of intrepid souls gracing us.

Iris & Matthias travel on up towards Cairns for the next few weeks, and I hope they enjoy many over sized and tacky "Big Objects" (they saw the Big Pineapple on the way here) and that the Great Barrier Reef is still alive when they get there.
Travel well, see you next time.

Lil Goes to Silverdale

Lil the Cow and two of her cowpatriots went to Silverdale this afternoon. None of us were here to wave them off, the local truck-driving man knows the drill and loaded them hisself, filled in the paperwork, possibly patted a dog, and was gone.
Gone from our lives, Lil. Ma's second ever purebred Limousin cow who she got before they moved out here to the big farm, mustuv been about 14 or 15 years ago, and she's been breeding ever since. But here's how it goes; we're running out of feed, there's young uns to keep (although most will go soon to Silverdale too) and the dam's getting low low.
So despite the fetal hope in their bellies they're at the Silverdale yards tonight, and tomorrow someone will buy them and we hope it will be a loving family with paddocks of knee-high clover who will love them until their natural end.
Yeah, and then I'll win lotto.

Aust Post: Axis of Evil?

Increasingly the "service" from Australia Post grates harshly.
Queues, dullness of intellect, poor English skills, padded product ranges - all these are but nothing compared to the incessant creep of that most insidious franchise behaviour: the upsell.

"May I have a book of ten stamps please?" is no longer a request, but an invitation to offer me a ream of paper on special, envelopes, a book of 20 stamps, a pack of highlighters.
"Just the stamps....gritted teeth...please."

Do they think we are that inane? That dim witted?
"Gosh, I forgot, yes, I am completely out of envelopes, highlighters, and dodgy teddy bears (stocked here for no apparent purpose), load me up!"
If I could buy stamps from a slot in the wall I would, and willingly, to forgo this element of modern life. Are there no standards anywhere anymore?