Apparently, this blog "lacks vision".
I don't often get feedback from readers, heck I'm constantly surprised there are any. So in a way I should have been delighted to get some frank and fearless critical appraisal, but I have to tell you, I was pretty cut about it.
Isn't the whole point of blogs to just noodle around and entertain oneself?! To write, or not write about things that happen (or don't happen) in a medium where one's words are as broadly available as it is possible to be and equally invisible or unknown as always - surely this is the blogging manifesto? My defensive thoughts circled sharply around this criticism, nipping out justifications, gobbling up rationalisations, but the burley ran dry and the sharks drifted off to richer waters and I was left with the unpalatable realisation that this criticism was entirely justified. After all, blogs are some of the most exciting contemporary writing and publishing around at the moment. I read some to be entertained, some to stay up to date with news of people and events and some just to feel connected to people of a like mind. Some blogs are the political poster kids for free speech - bringing real news out from under tough regimes. Some blogs are recording and tracking the work of researchers, of humanitarian workers, or pronoiacs. They all contribute to the betterment of our society. They are creative, diverse, international, exciting and relevant. Well, ones other than this one are.
So there are people making blogs where it really matters what they do. Theirs are not vague, personal noodlings or observations on minutiae. What options do I have? Could I become a better blogger? Should I just accept that I am crap and muddle forward? Should I delete the whole thing and chalk it up as an interesting experiment that entertained me for a while but should now really be cut loose to fade into the past?!
I thought these options over for a few hours yesterday, and I'm thinking them over again now. It seems like the blog is whatever it is, and changing over time because I let it be that way. Do I want to change? Do I have the control or discipline or interest to do that?
No. Not really.
I already lead a life of omission, control and deceit (and I live alone!). I just don't have the stomach for any more. This is also something that I enjoy doing in my own 'special needs' kinda way. So it's going to be option B, Crappy & Proud and muddling forward. Well, if not proud at least moderately self aware and kinda at peace with that. So to all my beloved, adored and precious readers, Thank You for coming by to read this humble blog now and then, and stay tuned for more of the same. But what the hey, I'm open to change. Call out if you want a request done, and I'll do my best to fufill it, and if I don't know the words, I'll hum something until we can get a jam going.